1. High on agreeableness (can put the interests of others before himself, and not as a spectacular, rare event)
2. Conscientiousness (follows through. Does what he says he’s going to do. Reliable)
3. Low on neuroticism–fear, anxiety, stress, anger
4. Values people and experiences, not stuff
5. Not keen on shopping as recreation
6. Environmental values (minimum for the driving and other lifestyle stuff)
7. Has a job. Minimal gaps in job history. Pays their own bills with low/no debt.
8. Communication skills: can speak about who he is and what he wants, pays attention to what I say and remembers it
9. Generous
10. Pro-feminism. Not a bitter ball of rage about feminazis; understands that being a man gives him a leg up in almost every situation, including relationships; low sense of entitlement to women’s unpaid labour
11. Supports my writing ambitions in concrete ways, not just words
12. Outdoorsy interests, at least hiking. Tolerates mud and bugs.
13. Taller than me
14. Basic fitness level
15. Relationship history: at least one long-term, committed relationship, which did not end because he was an asshole. Some insight and perspective into his own relationship patterns, and what he brought to his relationships that was good and bad.
16. Smart enough that I can talk about the things that interest me and get an intelligent, engaged response
17. Someone I am capable of being attracted to
